Everything Is Not What It Seems
by Kenzie12
Summary: Kensi finds herself in a situation no one could have predicted. The situation not only puts her in danger, but everyone else on the team too. Warning: Mention of rape.
1. Late night date

**This is my first attempt at fanfiction. I would definitely like to hear your thoughts on the first chapter and know if you would like me to continue or not. Thanks, Kenzie**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters...**

Kensi awoke early in the morning and bolted out of bed upon hearing a noise, she did a quick run of the house with a baseball bat in her hand and upon finding nothing had taken a seat on her couch. There was no point in going back to bed when she had to be up in less than an hour. She secretly hated how whenever she heard a bump in the night she had to get up to investigate. Most people would be able to attribute the noise to a back firing car or to the wind slamming a screen door. But not Kensi, she had to be on high alert all of the time. She knew firsthand the dangers that could entail if she were to put her guard down for a second. Guns, bombs, kidnappings, and murder were a real danger for her and she had to take every precaution that she could in order to keep herself safe. She was completely aware that most people considered women to be damsels in distress, but she was anything but that. She sometimes wondered if this was the reason she had been single for so long. Historically, women liked a guy who had ambition and good financial prospects. In Kensi's opinion this just meant that women liked or even needed to be taken care of and didn't mind being completely dependent on another person. Kensi didn't need that, in fact, she was quite confident that she could take care of herself. Maybe being so radical and out of the social norm was keeping her on the market. Not that she minded at all, being strong and independent never killed anyone before. She had once confided to her team that she was the perfect first date girl but never should go on a second date. Kensi would go into the first date open minded and hoping that some kind of sparks may turn into something more, but they always turned out to be duds in her opinion. The guy would refuse to let her pay her part of the meal, no matter how much she would argue. Then as if that wasn't enough he would insist on walking her to her car. And just like that they had exhibited signs that they felt she needed to be taken care of and looked over. This by itself was enough to cause her to push him away. She could never allow herself to date someone who felt that they were her protector and provider. Sometimes she would wonder to herself if they knew that she should be the one protecting them.

Her phone rang and she picked it up off the coffee table, "Hello."

"Hey. I was wanting to get a quick work out in before work. You in?"Deeks voice sounded over the phone.

"Ummm. I don't think so I'll just workout after work. I'm not even remotely close to being ready to walk out of the house yet." She laughed.

"Oh really? Late night date last night?" He asked and Kensi thought she sensed a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"I guess you could say that." She answered and without giving him the chance to ask her to elaborate she hung up the phone. There was no point in explaining that she had gone on a date and that it had ended well before eleven o'clock. In fact, Kensi could not give a good reason for why it had ended so early. The guy seemed to completely be willing to accept a woman who wanted to take care of herself. He even allowed her to pay for her own meal and told her that he liked how she was so independent and that he thought their personalities would suite them very well in a relationship. Upon officially leaving that night he had even bid her farwell at the door and allowed herself to walk herself to her car. They had intended on meeting up for a movie at his house but halfway there she chickened out. It was then she realized that maybe it wasn't her being radical that pushed all of the guys away, and that it was more likely a result of her commitment issues. After this realization she had called him and when he had not answered left him a voicemail explaining something urgent had come up and that she would have to call him later. She knew she would have to make up a lie to feed Deeks or he would taunt her regularly. She finally got up and slowly got ready for work. She silently wished that upon arriving Hetty would have the team a case, that way there would be no time for idle chit chat and her deception about the night before would be unnecessary.

When she walked into the building she noticed Callen, Deeks, and Sam were standing in a cluster talking to Eric and Nell. She smiled, maybe her wish had come true after all. As she approached her teammates she could hear Callen say something about rushed and insignificant. Upon her arrival to the group she finally spoke, "We got a case?"

Deeks shifted uncomfortably and Sam looked her in the eyes. Callen is the one who spoke, "I guess you could say that."

Kensi was bewildered, "What's up?" She instinctively knew that something was not right and she wanted to know what it was.

"Kensi, who did you go out to eat last night?" Callen asked.

"I don't see why that would be any of your business." Kensi answered hotly. She couldn't believe that Deeks had come back and spread rumors before she had even told him anything. "If that is the case you are talking about then you should just forget it. My personal life is not an investigation and as far as that goes…" she was interrupted mid rant by Sam.

"Kensi, it has nothing to do with us trying to get into your personal life. But it does have everything to do with this." Sam motioned to Eric who touched a screen and pulled up a video before pressing play.

Kensi watched the video now more confused than ever. It was a video of the restaurant that she had been to the night before she seen her and her date go in. Eric fast forwarded it to when they exited. And slowed it back down, Kensi watched as they said their farewells and as she made her way to her car. She watched as she pulled out of the parking lot and left. She looked at the team still confused.

Callen was the one who elaborated, "We got a case. Body was found last night in a car, he had been shot. We seen the receipt from this restaurant and pulled up the security camera to see if he had been getting tailed and that is when we saw you two together."

Callen had been studying her face and was not surprised to see her hesitate before she spoke, "His name was Captain Mark James. I met him at the coffee house two weeks ago and we had spoken on the phone a couple of times. He called me last night and told me he wanted to tell me something in person and asked if I could meet him at dinner. I told him I'd go and when I got there I asked him what it was he wanted to tell me and he said he didn't feel comfortable telling me in such a public place. He said if I felt comfortable with it he would prefer us to go somewhere more private so we could discuss it. I told him I didn't have a problem with it and I even asked him if he could tell me what it was about. He told me it wasn't a huge deal. Once he had said that I pressured him until he spilled. At the time he said that he just wanted to ask me if I would accompany him to Hawaii on a business trip because I had told him I'd been there. He said I would be able to show him around and keep him from getting lost…but now I am not so sure that is what he wanted to tell me."

Deeks had not taken his eyes off of Kensi and when she stopped talking spoke seriously, "Kensi Captain Mark James died ten years ago in an improvised explosive device in Afghanistan."

Kensi's heart pounded as the words sunk in, "What do you mean he's dead? I was just with him last night."

"No you weren't Kensi. This is Captain Mark James." Callen responded as Eric pulled up a picture of the real Captain.


	2. Friend or Foe

**Thanks so much for the reviews and messages, it got me motivated to write this chapter. I hope you guys like it! I also wanted to let you all know it may be a few days before I am able to post again. I got three exams Friday and I work and have classes between now and then. But, I promise the first chance I get I will sit down and work on the next chapter (Hopefully Thursday. I have a break between classes). Thanks again! Kenzie**

Kensi stood motionless as she absorbed what she had just been told. If what they were saying was true she had been played and had not even expected it. She had unknowingly allowed herself to walk into a potentially dangerous situation and not only was she embarrassed but she was disappointed in herself. She should have seen signs and she should have sensed something was wrong. There was a lump in her throat as she allowed her mind to drift to the things that could have occurred if she hadn't been lucky.

"Kensi, you good?" Deeks asked placing his hand on her shoulder. Kensi jumped momentarily forgetting where she was.

"Hmm hmmm." She responded. It bothered her that she didn't know who he was, why he was killed, or who killed him. What bothered her more than all of that together though was the fact that she didn't know if she would ever be able to trust her judgment again.

Callen knew that Kensi would need to sort everything out on her own time and in her own way. He knew if he were to push too hard that she would push even harder. He knew there was no point in talking to her about her feelings or emotions; she would never open up to him anyways. Callen also knew somehow she would pull through, she was tough and she always pulled through no matter what happened. He knew it was in the best interests of everyone to remain objective and get straight to the point, "Do you know anything about this guy?" He asked.

"I thought I did but….if it was the truth…I don't know." She answered looking everywhere but at her team mates. She knew how foolish she sounded and how idiotic she looked and she didn't want to see their disappointed faces. She never should have went on a date with someone she barely knew. And she most certainly should not have agreed to go meet him at his house. Granted she didn't go…but it didn't matter she had considered it and that was enough.

Callen tried another approach, "Tell me what he did tell you."

Kensi thought back to the night before, "He told me he was a Captain. He has a little girl from a previous marriage. His dad owned a construction business and he was going to go to Hawaii to meet his dad and some other guy about building some kind of mansion or something. And he told me where he lived because we were going to meet up there and watch a movie. That is before I called and cancelled and before he showed up dead." Kensi answered.

"Do you remember where the house is? At this point in time it is our only lead. You don't have to come if you don't want to. You can stay here and mess around or you can come with us if you want. But, if you decide not to come we will not think of you any differently." Sam offered. He knew it was better to give Kensi the option, she hated being told what to do.

"You can hang with me and Nell." Eric suggested.

"No, I want to go." Kensi replied turning and walking out.

The car ride to the man's house was silent. Deeks had known Kensi would not stay behind the minute Sam had asked but he wished she would have. Deeks had his hands on the steering wheel and kept throwing sideways glances at Kensi waiting or maybe wanting her to say something….anything to let him know that she was okay. He wished she would open up to him and tell him what was going through her mind, he knew it was something. He seen the look on her face and the way she was sitting. She could say she was okay all she wanted, but he knew otherwise. And later, whether she wanted to or not she was going to tell him the truth and open up.

Kensi could feel Deeks' eyes on her. For this reason she kept her eyes focused ahead she was waiting for Deeks to badger her with questions about how she was feeling and tell her he was there if she needed to talk. Every minute that went by that he didn't ask made Kensi more grateful. She did not want to admit to anyone, especially Deeks how vulnerable she had made herself the night before.

"Kensi…" Deeks began.

"I'm fine Deeks."

"I just wanted to let you know that this could have happened to anyone. We can't do background checks on everyone that we come into contact with. This isn't your fault." They had stopped at a stop sign and he was looking seriously at her.

"But, it didn't happen to anyone else, did it?"

Deeks knew she wasn't going to say anything else. She always had a way of avoiding talking about her feelings by asking a question after he had made a comment. If he were to say something else she would ask yet another question. It was like asking questions was a defense mechanism for her. She'd draw the attention away from herself by drawing it to something else. He'd let her get away with it momentarily but later they were going to have a chat and he was determined to get it out of her.

When they arrived at the house they noticed it had been ransacked. Someone had definitely been looking for something. They went in guns drawn and made sure the house was clear to make sure the intruder was not there.

Kensi's heart was pounding as she looked around the bedroom where the bed was overturned and clothes lay scattered all over the floor. She didn't know what she was looking for but she was hoping to find something that would lead to the identification of the man she had been with. She was also curious to find out why he had shown such a keen interest in her, surely he had been after something. She was fairly certain whatever it was they were looking for was already gone, the intruder had probably retrieved it the night before.

Deeks had entered the living room where the couch and coffee table was flipped on their sides. He did a quick run of the room looking for anything that was out of the ordinary or that looked important. Not seeing anything he went to walk towards the kitchen when he stopped. The fabric on the bottom of the couch looked like it had been sewn together, it wouldn't be obvious unless you stopped and looked. Deeks assumed the intruder had been in a hurry and hadn't noticed it. Following his gut he pulled a knife out and cut the fabric finding an envelope tucked inside, "In here you guys." He called pulling the envelope out and opening it. He pulled papers out and started going through them.

"What is it?" Callen asked.

"It's mystery mans real license and everything. His name is Mitch Simmons. Thirty years old. There is a picture here of him and Mark James. They probably served together. There is pictures here of Kensi, it looks like he had been tailing her for a couple of weeks….That doesn't explain why he is dead though." Deeks said.

Callen had leaned over Deeks also looking at the pictures, "Does the name Carson Myers ring a bell? There is a newspaper article saying he was murdered in this folder." Callen asked. Deeks looked in the direction of Kensi and noticed her face had grown pale.

"Kensi?" Deeks asked walking over and grabbing her arm upon noticing she had become unsteady.

"He was trying to save me." She stuttered.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"I was on a drug case a long time ago. I had gone undercover with a guy named Carson Myers. The drug dealers were always one step ahead of us. We had been undercover for four months when we were compromised and had to abort the mission. Samual Gonzalaz, the leader, told us that he would kill us if it was the last thing he did if we ever betrayed him. Carson used to joke that if things went bad he would somehow contact me and let me know. I bet Mitch Simmons was friends with Carson Myers. When Carson realized he was being chased he asked Mitch to come and warn me if anything happened to him. I bet Mitch was paranoid that they were onto him so he tried to hide his identity so no one would know who he was." It all made sense why Mitch had not told her who he really was and why he had not wanted to talk to her in a public place.

"I'm guessing this is what this letter is going to say that is written by Carson, huh?" Callen asked holding up a piece of paper addressed to Kensi.

"And now they are going to be going after you?" Deeks asked concerned.

Kensi gave him a nervous smile and didn't respond. She turned and walked out of the house and towards the car. Kensi did not need to see the letter to know what it said and she knew that she didn't need to answer Deeks question. He already knew the answer…


	3. Intervention

**So I know I said it wouldn't be until Thursday. But, I got it done and I had to share.. :) I hope you like it! Please review. Thanks, Kenzie**

Deeks was sitting at his desk talking to Callen about where they were going to go next. They wanted to know what exactly had occurred between Samual and Kensi but Kensi had not spoken since they had left the house.

"Think you can talk to her?" Callen asked.

"I know I can talk to her but I don't think she will do any talking." Deeks replied somberly.

"You'll get it out of her somehow I'm sure." Callen said getting up and exiting the bullpen.

Deeks sat contemplating how to handle the situation. He watched as she rested her head in her hands. He noticed how she positioned her head and made her hair cover her face. He knew she had spent the time since they left the house making sure her walls were up and secured. He hypothesized she had probably even built a moat to surround the walls. He hesitated before getting up and dragging his chair to her desk. He sat down across from her, "Kensi, lets talk." He knew without a doubt she'd say no.

"I don't need to talk, I'm fine." She responded without lifting her head.

"Look at me. I want to talk." Deeks tried again. Being her partner he knew what buttons he could push and how far he could push them before she would shut him out completely. When she didn't budge he tried again, "Well if you don't want to talk about your feelings that's fine. But I need to know the details surrounding the case." Deeks tried this approach knowing the detective side would eat at her until she gave in and told him. Plan A was to get her talking and then keep her talking.

Kensi looked up unable to compile a valid reason why she couldn't tell him, "What do you want to know?"

He silently praised himself, he wasn't completely in yet but the draw bridge was coming down which got him one step closer to crossing the moat. He'd worry about the walls later, "Whatever you can tell me."

"Me and Carson had gone undercover right before I joined Hetty's team. For four months I was playing Carsons fiancé and he was playing a rich guy who bought their drugs. Eventually he bought his way into the ranks of the gang. Once we got there we were supposed to find out how they were shipping the drugs and who all was involved in it so we could take them down. By the end of the four months we had enough knowledge to do just that but they asked us to stay a little longer because we had not been able to meet Ricky yet and they wanted him…they wanted him bad. The last night undercover we met Samual to help him sale over a million dollars worth of drugs to a guy that was an acquaintance of Carsons. The cops showed up…a gun battle ensued. Samual grabbed me and held a gun to my head. He had planned on negotiating I think and then Carson pulled his gun and he attempted to drag me toward his car. No one had shot him yet because he was using me as a shield and no one had a shot. I glanced at Carson and he gave me a slight nod. I knew what I had to do. Carson talked to him his gun still raised. I took all of my weight and through myself backwards catching him off guard. He lost his balance and fell his gun falling to the ground and ten feet away. Samual then pulled a knife out and hovered over me the knife held up as he looked at me. He told me that his brother Ricky would avenge him. He went to bring the knife down and Carson took the shot. He landed dead right on top of me. After a few months I begin to doubt that Ricky would come for us and I didn't even think about it anymore. I guess I always knew that he'd find out who we were and kill us eventually." Kensi sighed and diverted her eyes to Deeks empty desk.

"Well he is not going to kill you, I promise you that. So what do we know about Ricky?"

"He's Samual's brother. Samual was the leader or I guess co leader but Ricky had the final say so on everything. He had everyone do the dirty work for him."

Deeks nodded understanding. He noticed how she had ignored him when he had promised that Ricky would not kill her. He knew she had trust issues, "Kens I know your going to say you don't need anyone…but I'm here for you if you do." Deeks told her.

Kensi glanced at him, "Thanks." She replied as she got up and walked away.

Deeks hated how whenever a conversation got deep or out of her comfort zone she would bolt. What he hated even more than that though was how she didn't trust him enough to confide in him.

Sam approached Deeks, "How did it go?" He asked as Callen walked up too.

"So, so I guess." He had made some progress afterall. He quickly update them on the information that he had learned.

"I'll have Eric run Ricky Gonzalaz and see what comes up. How is she doing?" Callen asked.

Deeks sighed dejectedly, "I don't know."

"With Kensi you need to be rough. Gentle does not cut it. When she pushes you away you push back harder. When she gets mad you need to stay calm and persistant. Never back down. Eventually she will cave." Sam promised Deeks.

"I don't know." Deeks said.

"Your going to have to corner her and let her know that if she wants to run, that's fine. But, let her know you are not going to chase her. Let her know if she stays and fights we'll all be next to her fighting too." Callen agreed with Sam.

The thought of pushing her to that extreme made Deeks slightly nervous, "If you guys are so confident, you do it."

Sam glanced at Callen before speaking, "Well you are her partner so it should be you. But if it'll make you feel better we'll stand close by and if she goes to leave or if things get out of hand we'll intervene. And I don't know tie her to a chair or something."

Deeks though this over and found he did feel slightly better knowing he would have some kind of reinforcement. He took a deep breath in before standing, "I bet she's in the gym." He informed the others. On the way he mentally prepared himself for battle knowing even though no explosives or guns was involved it would still be a war. As Deeks walked into the gym he seen Callen and Sam halt close to the door. He approached Kensi who was punching the punching bag. He laid his hand on top of her arm, "We are going to talk. I need to know where your head is at. I need to know that you are mentally capable of being in the field."

"As I've already stated I am fine."

"You are not. Your non verbal body language is telling me otherwise…so just spill." Deeks ordered her.

"There is absolutely nothing to spill about. And what do you mean about my non verbals?" Kensi asked.

"You won't look me in the eyes when your telling me you are fine. Your voice is changing pitch slightly as you say it and you're also tapping your fingers against your leg. You know it's easy to lie to people you don't know and who you know is doing bad things especially when you are not playing yourself. Unfortunately for you being able to lie to them has given you the false idea that you are good at lying. Fortunately for me on the other hand I have been trained to see when someone is lying and I have also had the pleasure of getting to know you since we became partners. So would you like to retract the statement that you are fine?" Deeks asked.

Kensi looked at him, "I'll be fine in the field, I'll pull my own weight."

Deeks observed how she did not say he was completely wrong and practically ignored the statement all together, "Kensi, you lost a colleague that you worked close with. That has had to have some kind of effect on you." Deeks attempted again.

"Of course it has. But it is not something I need to discuss with you."

"Do you have any idea what a partnership entails?" He asked. And when she did not respond he continued, "Whenever we are faced with something or are forced to go through something we do it together."

Kensi went to turn and Deeks noticed Callen and Sam shift slightly so they were still talking but were now blocking the door. He knew it would be even worse if they stopped her, she would feel like they were ganging up on her. So he made one last try, "Fine, I'm going to tell Hetty I want transferred to another team. If you can't fully trust me then there is no point in us being partners." He hoped it did not sound like an open ended threat.

Her answer was not what he expected, "Do what you must." She didn't really want him to transfer but she couldn't open up to him. Every man she had ever opened up to had ended up dead: her dad, Jack, and now Carson. She couldn't do that to Deeks. If it meant she had to torture herself by losing her partner to save his life then she would deal with it.

Callen had left the doorway and had held his hand up, "You are not leaving until you talk."

"What is this?" Kensi asked angrily.

Deeks spoke up, "Call it an intervention. We are saving you from yourself…We're going to sit down and talk whether you want to or not."

"Let's move upstairs so we can have more privacy." Sam suggested.

Kensi grunted, "I am not going upstairs."

"Fine, we'll do it right here. Have a seat." Deeks told her.

Kensi looked toward the exit and noticed Sam and Callen standing in between her and the door. She was mentally calculating if she could make it when Sam spoke, "Don't even try it." She sighed and sat down.

"Now talk to me. How are you feeling?" Deeks asked.

"To be frank I am irate." She replied.

Deeks was not remotely surprised by her anger, "I meant about Carsons death and the fact that you are in danger."

Callen and Sam had retreated to the door and was talking in hushed voices trying to give their friends some privacy.

"Why do you care so much about my feelings?" she asked him.

He sat pondering the question. He honestly had no idea. He quickly concocted a plausible reason, "If your minds not where it is supposed to be it could put both of our lives in jeopardy."

"Deeks, you know I would never put you in any kind of danger. Don't do this to me please." She begged motioning from Callen and Sam to Deeks.

It was the first time that Deeks had heard any kind of emotion in her voice and he was hopeful that that meant they were making more progress, "Sorry but Kensi it's for your own good, not to mention the good of our partnership. I don't understand what the problem is, I am a good listener."

"The problem? The problem is Deeks I am doing you a favor and you are oblivious to it. Give it up already."

"Doing me a favor? How exactly does that work?" Deeks asked.

"Every man I've ever trusted, known, loved, confided in has ended up dead. Is that how you want to end up Deeks?" Kensi asked her voice now pleading She wanted nothing more than for him to just forget it.

Deeks paused momentarily stunned had she said loved?...Maybe it was what he wanted to hear, "You let me worry about me. I'll be fine, I promise."

"Why must you do that? Make promises that you may not be able to keep."

Deeks didn't know how to respond. It was true in their line of work a lot of things could go wrong. He did the only thing he could think of doing he scooted closer to her and pulled her towards him. At first she struggled to pull away but he held on tighter, "We'll get through this somehow."

Kensi didn't say anything her emotions had escaped her. She felt so vulnerable….so embarrassed…and yet so safe. "I'm sorry." She cried.

"Shhh….It's okay. Everything is going to be okay." He whispered looking up and noting that Callen and Sam had left the room. He didn't know how long he sat their holding her in silence. All he did know was he had never felt happier.

Kensi finally sat up, "I'm going to go to the bathroom and freshen up. Would you mind going and getting me a coffee?" she asked him.

He was pleased with himself he had accomplished his task, "Sure."

He made his way downstairs, grabbed a cup, and poured coffee.

"Good job man." Sam patted him on the back.

"How is she?" Callen asked.

Deeks nodded his head, "She'll be okay."

Sam laughed, "Did you happen to talk to her about us putting her in protective custody?"

"One step at a time, okay?" Deeks sighed.

"Yeah alright."

Deeks made his way back upstairs and knocked on the girls bathroom door. When no one answered he opened the door and peered in…no one. He opened all of the stalls and realized Kensi was not there. He took off back downstairs, "You seen Kensi?" He yelled.

"What? No, she gone?" Sam asked following Deeks to ops.

"Eric, we need you to run Kensi's GPS." Sam told him running into the room.

Eric hit some buttons and then looked at the computer screen, "She's took the battery out of her phone and it looks as if she has ditched the GPS in her car. Car GPS says her car is in our parking lot, our camera says her car is gone….She's a ghost."

"We'll find her." Callen said matter of factly.

"What makes you so sure?" Deeks asked. He was mad at himself. He never should have left her.

Callen gave a small smile, "I taught her everything she knows including how to be a ghost."


	4. Restricted

**So I want to thank each and every one of you who has messaged, reviewed, and added my story as a story they would like to alerted to when a new update is up. It means so much to me and is keeping me motivated to keep going with the story! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks, Kenzie.  
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Deeks ran his fingers through his hair as he thought back to the conversation with Hetty. He had been shocked when she had not ripped him a new one.

"What do you want me to say mister Deeks, that you messed up?" she had asked.

"Yes, Hetty. In fact, I want you to reconfirm how big of an idiot and a failure I am." Deeks had responded.

Hetty had stood staring at him before she had spoken, "Agent Blye is a good agent. If she had wanted to get away from us she would have done it with or without you leaving her alone," she turned to walk away and then hesitated, "And mister Deeks?"

"Yes, Hetty?"

"Throwing a pity party for yourself is not going to bring her home."

Callen had left immediately when they realized she had run so she would only be a couple of minutes ahead of him. Deeks had confidence that they would find her before Ricky did but something deep down was bothering him and he could not pin point exactly what it was. "Any news?" He asked as Sam came into the room.

"Not yet, they found her car stranded in the mall parking lot about five miles from here. G thinks that she took a taxi from there. So she shouldn't be too hard to track down."

Deeks nodded. The picture of her giving herself up to the Russians leaked into his conscious thought and he could not suppress it. His mind went to when he had found her in the room with lasers. She had almost died then. If he had not gotten there right when he did things could have turned out differently. If she had swayed and touched one he would more than likely have a new partner and she would be dead. His heart beat faster as he thought of what could have happened. He thought of the possibility that this time he could be too late. It hit him what had been bothering him before, "Sam, she wouldn't go give herself up to them would she?"

Sam waited several seconds before answering, "Nah, she wouldn't do that. She knows we would put ourselves in harm way to go in and save her."

Deeks silently agreed, he knew without a doubt that he would stop at nothing to bring her home.

"Do you think she realizes how much more work she is causing us?" Sam asked.

Deeks sighed, "What do you mean? Being one agent short and not only having to find Ricky but having to look for her too?"

"Exactly." Sam sighed.

"I can't just sit here and do nothing while Callen is out looking for her. Can't we go out and help?" Deeks asked.

"We're not doing nothing, we're going through the old case files learning everything that may be beneficial to us later." Sam responded. He knew that Deeks was struggling; he knew how hard it must be to not be out doing something. But Callen had been right if anyone could find her it would be him.

Nell came down the stairs her face red. Just as Deeks was about to ask her what was wrong she spoke, "I am getting a migraine. I'm going to go home take my medicine and try to sleep it off. I'll be back as soon as I'm feeling better. Call me if you hear anything….and I mean anything at all."

Deeks could tell that she didn't feel well and he also knew migraines would come instantly and could put you down and out for hours at a time, "Will do Nell. Want me to drive you home?" He hoped with all his might that she would say yes, it would give him a chance to do some investigating on his own. Afterall, what Sam didn't know would not hurt him.

Nell smiled, "Eric is giving me a lift. My head hurts too bad to drive myself. But he's coming right back." She answered walking towards the door.

"Well get feeling better, okay." Deeks told her. He was slightly disappointed he knew that Eric was her partner and he should be the one to drive her home, but it would have given him the chance to look around too. He was Kensi's partner and he felt he should be the one out looking for her. He didn't want to waste his time sitting reading the stuff that Kensi had already told them. Not to mention it did not take two people to review one case file.

An hour later Eric had returned and was trying to trace Kensi. He was now looking at any new burn phones that had been purchased and if they were in the vicinity that Kensi may be in. Callen had not contacted them with any new information. The sun was going down and he knew they would have to call it quits for the night. Going without sleep would not only hurt their judgment but would leave them more vulnerable to getting sick. Deeks was growing impatient and was mentally going through places Kensi had mentioned to him in the past trying to find a place that she could be hiding out. With every minute that went by the more aggravated he became about her running off. Had she not trusted them enough to protect her? Or had she thought she was doing them a favor and keeping them safe? He was going to have a long conversation with her when they got her back. If it was that she was doing them all a favor he had every intention of asking her for a favor and when she said yes he was going to tell her to never do them a favor again. If it was that she didn't trust them he would…..his phone ringing stopped his thoughts and he answered it noticing it was a restricted number, "Deeks."

"Deeks, I need you to listen to me." Kensi sounded rushed.

Deeks sat up straighter and motioned for Sam to get Eric to trace the caller, "Kensi? What's going on? Where are you?"

"Listen, they have Nell. I'm going to go in and give myself up. They said if I would they would…." Dial tone. Deeks threw his fist against the desk and Sam went to ask what she had said when his phone rang again.

"If I do they are going to let her go. I need you to make sure they release her, if you haven't heard from her in two hours you need to start looking…I don't know if she is hurt." Kensi said and then she hung up.

Deeks held the phone in front of his face; she had purposely hung up knowing they were going to trace the call. He sat waiting hoping she would call back. Eric appeared shaking his head letting them know he had been unable to get her location.

Deeks looked at Sam, "Get ahold of Callen we need to go to Nells place. They took her so Kensi would turn herself in; they are supposed to release her upon Kensi showing up. Maybe there will be fingerprints…."

Deeks and Sam pulled into Nells' apartment complex seconds after Callen had. Sam had tried unsuccessfully to reach her by phone all the way there. Deeks jumped out and slammed his door shut. They approached the door and Callen noticed the door was locked, he knocked once, "Nell, it's Callen open up." Not hearing any response in return Sam kicked the door down. All three entered the apartment guns drawn and started clearing the house room by room.

Sam's voice filled the house, "In here." Callen and Deeks followed the sound of his voice.

Upon entering the room they found Nell sleeping in her bed a heating pad over her eyes, Sam shook her gently, "Nell, I owe you a door…but you didn't answer so I mean…well anyway how is your head?"

Deeks watched as Sam explained to a groggy and medicated Nell what had happened, "If she's here…" Deeks began.

"If she's here Kensi was played and is giving herself up for nothing." Callen responded turning and storming back out of the house.


	5. Ricky

**Hey guys! Thanks for your patience. Between school and work I have had no time to sit down and write. I hope you guys find this chapter enjoyable and I also hope you guys have a wonderful Valentine's Day! I hope to have the next chapter up sometime before Friday night. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks, Kenzie **

Kensi hung up the phone and stood staring at the abandoned warehouse in front of her. She knew the team would be irate with her and she even knew they would have noticed she had run within minutes of her departure. This is the reason she had left, stopped a guy who had been running and paid him to park the car at the mall where she knew there was no cameras and the team would never find out. The plan was the team would find the car and they would feel as though they were only one step behind her, when in reality they would stay one step ahead. She knew they would spend time searching the mall and looking at buses and taxis. She wouldn't lie though as she hid behind trees and bushes and watched Callen's car speed by she felt nothing but guilt. They had every right to not bother looking for her, to not bother getting mixed up in things that they did not need too, and yet they did. She knew they cared a lot about her, but she couldn't put them in the same situation as Carson and Mitch. She needed to make sure they were safe and the best thing she could do for them was to stay far away. She had went and bought a burn phone at a store and was in a taxi debating on where she was going to go when her phone rang. She answered it; no one should know the number.

"Been a long time, huh?" Her heart hammered as she came to the realization that it was Ricky.

"How did you get this number? I just bought the phone." Kensi asked.

It did not bother her that he was spending so much time keeping tabs on her as long as she knew that the rest of the team was safe. She was also aware that the more resources he spent on tracking her meant the less resources he had to use on the rest of the team.

"No matter. I do have Nell though, she is free to go if you come turn yourself into me." She immediately stopped walking, "Let her go." She ordered knowing that it was no use. He mumbled an address and an abandoned warehouse and hung up the phone.

Kensi knew she would not be able to live with herself if something were to happen to Nell. She figured even if she did turn herself in the chances of Nell being release was slim to none. Nell had seen too much….As she contemplated going to the abandoned warehouse she dialed Nell's number….no answer. Her heart pounded and she made one last desperate attempt by calling NCIS. Eric had answered and Kensi had given the phone to the man driving the taxi, "Ask for Nell." She had whispered, she knew Eric would recognize her voice.

The taxi driver looked rather confused but did as he was told. Seconds later he responded with a quick thank-you and handed the phone back to Kensi, "She was sick and went home.

Kensi knew then that she was going to give herself to Ricky, she told the taxi driver to pull over, she paid him, and then got out walking in the direction of the warehouse. She had called Deeks giving him as much information as she felt absolutely necessary. She had hoped that Deeks would yell over her and tell her that Nell was there and safe, even though Eric had said that she was at home. When he hadn't said anything of the sort her fears were solidified…all of these events transpiring is why she now found herself standing in front of a warehouse….she would rather die and give Nell a chance to survive than live and allowing Nell to die.

She sighed before walking briskly up to the house. She felt the warmth of the sun against her face and hands and she heard the birds chirping from a nearby tree. As she walked up the front steps she tried to suppress the thought that this would be the very last time she would see the sun and the last time the birds would fill her ears with their song.

She raised her hand to knock on the door and the door swung open revealing a man with brown hair and brown eyes, "Ricky?" she had asked.

"No." He answered roughly grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the back of the house. As she allowed him to lead her throughout the house she mentally tried to absorb any new information she could about the house. Any windows that she could use as an escape route or anything that could be used as a weapon that would enable her to get Nell and her out safely is what she was focusing on. She silently wondered how much longer she would have her gun in her possession and why they had not taken it away yet. The man led her down a set of stairs and into the basement.

Her eyes were not adjusted to the darkness and she couldn't see much of anything…once her eyes did adjust she realized why the first guy had not been concerned with getting her gun right away. She was outnumbered five to one. Before she would be able to shoot two of them she would be laying on the ground in a pool of blood.

"Kensi, it's been a long time no see." A guy told her. The man resembled Samual in almost every way.

"It has. Ricky, I presume?" Kensi had asked him.

"At your service." He smiled and it gave Kensi the chills.

"Let, Nell go. I did as you asked."

"No worries, your friend is safe and sound. Probably curled up in her bedroom sipping a cup of tea as we speak." Ricky smiled once again.

Kensi couldn't believe it had she really been so stupid as to fall for one of their games again? She mentally kicked herself realizing she should have waited until she knew that Nell was gone before deciding on giving her life up. Ricky had known her vulnerabilities and weaknesses were and he had played them to his advantage.

Ricky seemed amused by her silence, "I know, it's amazing what one will do when they think a friend is in danger. Amazing how reckless one can be and even more surprising how careless a trained agent can be when she thinks her friend is in trouble."

"What do you want Ricky?" Kensi knew what he wanted but felt it would give her more time to come up with a plan. She was now attempting to delay the inevitable.

"As I am sure you remember clearly, you played a part in my brother's death and now I am going to play a part in your death."

"All your brother had to do was put the gun down and allow the police to arrest him and instead of being six feet under he would be in a jail cell." Kensi knew this statement would piss him off, but she didn't care.

Ricky's smile faded and he nodded to the guy who had led Kensi to the basement the man came up behind her and punched her Kensi fell to the ground. She went to kick her legs hoping to make contact with someone when another man put something over her mouth and nose. As she struggled against their hands she became dizzy and everything went black….

Kensi's eyes opened and it took her a minute to collect what had happened. She figured the cloth they had held over her mouth contained chloroform which is what had caused her to pass out. As she laid there she heard the men talking, had Ricky just said something about a box and the ocean? She listened intently…

"I say we keep her for a few hours and make her pay for what she did. And then we'll put her in the box and lock it. The boat will be ready around ten o'clock tonight and we can take her out a couple of miles and throw her out. No one will ever find her."

She knew she needed to escape she went to move her hand and realized that they had chained her to the wall.

"Well morning there sunshine." Ricky smiled again as he approached her. He grabbed her hair and pulled her face inches from his own, "Now sweetheart you are in no place to talk about being six feet under. In mere hours you are going to find yourself several feet under water and swimming with the fishes." He gave a small laugh and slammed her head into the cement wall.

Kensi refused to cry out knowing that is what he wanted more than anything else. She would not give him that satisfaction.


	6. Princess

**So, I know it's been forever. But I'm not going to lie I struggled with this chapter...in fact, I wrote and deleted and wrote and deleted twice before I wrote this one. Anyway, I'm sorry it took so long...BTW There is a little bit of bad language and talk of being sexually assaulted in this chapter.  
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**Thanks for reading :)**

**Kenzi  
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Kensi awoke later to her entire body aching. She glanced around the room noting she had been left alone. She went to reach to her head where she was experiencing the most pain and she realized her right hand had been chained to the wall. She reached for her gun already knowing it would not be there. It was then she realized she was completely nude. She inspected her body noting every bruise and abrasion she could observe. She was completely disgusted with her own body. If she just had not of lost consciousness she would have been able to fight them off. She grew nauseated wondering just how many of the men had taken advantage of her. She was ashamed of herself. She laid there pondering potential escape plans. Her first goal was to cover her naked body. If the team did come save her she couldn't let them find her naked and chained to a wall like a dog. In fact, she was fairly certain that she would rather die than have them find her like this. Her heart raced as she considered how they would react…they would never look at her the same again and she couldn't say that she would blame them…she was disgusting and contaminated.

She pulled her weight down as hard as she could trying to pull her hand through the chain. Her free hand she used to cover her mouth to muffle the cry that would inevitably come out…She couldn't let them know she was awake.

Deeks hung up the phone, "My contact just called me….he knows where they are holding Kensi, I'll drive."

Callen did not argue as he followed Deeks and Sam out of the bullpen. He wanted more than anything to find her and bring her to safety. The last few hours had been from hell. The team had stood hopeless over Eric and Nell who had been looking at the cameras at every intersection hoping for a sighting of Kensi. If only they knew what direction she was going it would give them some idea of where to look. And now that they knew where she was Callen was nervous, would his team be able to stay objective and not let this become personal? Would they get revenge or justice? He had seen the way that Deeks looked at Kensi and he knew there was more to their partnership than met the eye. He knew that partners were supposed to have a special bond and were supposed to trust one another, but their partnership was more than that. If they found her and she was dead Callen knew that anyone on the team would not think twice to kill the people who played a part in it, and that scared him. They were not murderers. He shook his head, they were not going to find her dead… they could not find her dead.

Sam watched the houses go by as Deeks drove them towards their destination. He knew Kensi would pull through alive and well, she always did. He had grown close to everyone on the team and they were all like a second family to him. He knew that when one person on the team went through something they all went through it together. And as soon as they had Kensi out of harm's way she was going to hear about it. He was going to tell her off for her lone wolf stunt. She was like a sister to him and he would be damned if she pulled another stunt like that again. He sighed he was slightly nervous about going into the house knowing Kensi was in there and more than likely unarmed. They were potentially putting her into more danger and to make it worse they were going to have to go in blind and with no ears. Eric had been unsuccessful finding any cameras. All they had was the layout of the building.

Deeks could not stop picturing Kensi standing in the room of lasers. She had looked exhausted and if they had arrived even a second later it was possible her muscles would have given out and she would have been engulfed in flames. Deeks kept hearing her pleading voice telling him that she couldn't stand there any longer. The way she had said please and the way she stood there had shown him how vulnerable she was and it had broken his heart. The images still haunted him to this day and he silently wondered what kind of images would haunt him this time when they found her. A lifeless body sprawled out on the floor came to the forefront of his mind and he unknowingly yelled, "No!"

The car ride had been silent since Sam had hung up with Eric so when Deeks yelled out Callen jumped, "What?" He asked scanning the road.

"Nothing, sorry."Deeks apologized.

Sam knew he was lying immediately, "We'll get her back." He knew his promise would not help, yet he felt the need to say something comforting.

As Deeks pulled onto the street he nodded his head…

Kensi was sitting in the middle of the room. She had not succeeded in finding an exit but she had been successful in finding her clothes which had been thrown all over the room. She now sat mentally preparing for the inevitable. Death had been something she had thought a lot about especially in her line of work. But before today she did not think death would scare her. As she sat knowing she was only hours away from taking her last breath she became increasingly terrified. She wondered if this is how people on death row felt before their execution…She pictured her team mates' faces in her mind. A tear ran down her face as she realized she had failed them, she had given up on living and that is not what they would expect from her. Then again they never would have expected her to allow herself to be…taken advantage of. She could not bring herself to admit that she had been raped. The word itself made it sound so absolute, so permanent and she just couldn't do it. Even though her team would be disappointed that she had given up, they would be safe from at least Ricky and his gang. They would not need to worry about Ricky coming after them after she was dead. At least she would not die in vain. She slapped her leg realizing just how weak she was. The door opened and a man approached her, "You awake princess?"

The name he called her pissed her off, but she didn't know why…until she pictured the day Deeks had called her princess. He was the only one allowed to call her that and he would never take advantage of her like they had. At this point in time Kensi did not think before she acted. She had no idea what she was intending to do…She charged at him hitting him in the stomach and being caught off guard he landed against the wall. Recovering from the initial surprise the man easily tossed Kensi to the ground, she didn't have the physical strength she normally had to take him down. That didn't keep Kensi from trying, she stood and went to charge at him again when he pulled a gun out and fired one shot. She reached down to her stomach before falling to the floor.

She had fully expected to meet resistance and lose the minute her body hit his. What she had not expected was the gunshots that came from upstairs. The man threw one last glance at her before running back up the stairs, leaving Kensi bleeding on the floor. Her body hurt so bad, and she wondered if the end was near. She was silently counting to herself in an attempt to keep her mind off the excruciating pain that was radiating throughout her entire body.

"Kensi?" She knew it was Callen yelling her name from somewhere upstairs but she didn't respond she did not want her colleagues…her friends…her family to see her like this. She curled up into ball, making herself as little as possible and prayed she would disappear.

Deeks approached a door after a short firefight in which Callen, Sam, and he had easily won. His heart was pounding and he was sweating profusely as he descended the stairs and quickly swept the room. He seen the figure lying on the floor and he hesitated, the picture he had seen in the car came back to him and he was not for sure he wanted to see anymore. Blood was on the floor and the body had not moved. He felt a hand on his back and turned finding Callen who nodded his head and gave him a slight push to move him forward. "Kensi?" Deeks asked walking even closer. He could feel Callen behind him. Deeks leaned down and touched her shoulder, he sighed in relief when he felt her tense.

Kensi had heard Deeks, but ignored him. She had given up on the disappearing thing and was now trying to wake herself up from a nightmare. She felt a hand on her shoulder and the warmth of the touch and she felt all of the pain come flooding back.

"Let me see Kensi." Deeks told her. Kensi was laying on her side her hands covering her face.

Deeks put his hand on her shoulder with the intention of easing her onto her back when she spoke for the first time, "Just give me a minute, okay?" The pain, hurt, and pleading in her voice caught Deeks off guard and he glanced at Callen. Callen shook his head and kneeled down beside her.

"Come on Kensi, please?" Deeks begged he did not want to force her but if it came down to it he knew he would do it.

"Just a couple of minutes." Kensi replied. Her voice was weak and barely a whisper.

"That is out of the question." Deeks told her and with the help of Callen they gingerly but forcefully turned her to her back so they could see the extent of her injuries.

Deeks heard Sam call for an ambulance and he noted the way Kensi was still holding her hands in front of her face, "What hurts Kens?" he asked. She had decided not to answer it was all she could do to focus on not crying out in agony, she needed to keep her composure and if she spoke she was 100% sure she would lose it.

"She's been shot Deeks." Callen told him as he pressed down on her stomach to slow the bleeding. Kensi groaned as she felt Callen push down on her stomach.

"Look at me Kens." Deeks told her. He wanted to look her in the eyes and tell her that she was going to be okay and nothing else would happen to her. She didn't move her hands…Deeks had not taken psychology classes but he assumed if he were to ask Nate his response would be that she was using her hands as a barrier.

"You're still bleeding Kensi, I'm going to need to use more pressure. Hang in there." Callen sounded apologetic.

As he pushed down harder Kensi let out a small cry and removed her hands in an attempt to push his hands off of her, Deeks was quicker. He had pinned her hands to the floor, "Help is on the way. Just hold on." Deeks told her.

"I…I don't wanna go…hospital..." her voice trailed off.

Deeks was looking at her face, "I don't give a damn, you mam are going."

The pain had become so excruciating that Kensi had grown nauseous and was becoming dizzy, could they not tell she did not want help. If she went to the hospital the doctors and nurses would see she had been sexually abused and she would have to explain…she just couldn't do it. She knew it was useless to try to sit up with Callen pressing on her stomach and Deeks holding her hands but she had to try. Much to her body's objection she tried her hardest to sit up, "Fine, promise…"

Deeks now was pressing on her shoulders forcing her against the floor, "No, you're not."

Kensi heard the paramedics and heard Sam telling her to hang on. She seen the worried look on Deeks face…she was so tired…so tired. Their voices were becoming fainter and Deeks was becoming more blurry…then everything went black.

**Review please :)**


	7. Detective Deeks

**I want to thank everyone who is taking time out of their busy schedule to read this. I appreciate it more than you know. I hope you enjoy this chapter...don't hesitate to let me know what you think :). Thanks, Kenzie. P.S. I hope everyone has had a great day!**

Deeks stood nearby as the paramedics lowered her onto the backboard and put a neck brace on her, "She's gonna be okay." He mumbled

Callen knew Deeks only made the comment to reassure himself that she was going to be okay. He went to open his mouth to agree but no words came out and he stopped. He could not bring himself to say something that he was not sure was even true. The truth was she had lost a lot of blood and he was pretty sure the bullet had caused internal bleeding that would require surgery. And she had clearly received a blow to the head. But all of this did not concern him as much as what he had seen in her eyes. What her eyes had comunicated made him more scared than anything else. Besides the obvious fear and pain Callen could have sworn he had seen a flicker of defeat. Callen knew firsthand how tough the road was to recovery after being shot and he knew how determined he had been to survive and get his body back to where it had been. If he had seen defeat in her eyes it was likely she had lost her will to live and would not have the inner strength to make her body fight in the battle to live. He knew if he had seen it, Deeks had seen it too. He reached over and patted Deeks' on the back and walked away.

Sam stood outside on the phone catching Hetty up on what all had transpired. He was giving Deeks space; he did not need Sam asking if he was okay or anything. Sam had been through a similar experience with Callen being shot and watching his partner bleed on the ground until help arrived. He knew Deeks was not okay, he didn't need to ask. He heard a lot of urgent voices and he turned. The paramedics were wheeling the gurney out and Deeks and Callen followed closely behind. He walked to the ambulance and watched them load her up. They watched as one paramedic closed the doors and went to the driver side. The lights and sirens came on simultaneously and the three friends stood watching it drive away until the ambulance disappeared.

After what felt like had been forever they had given their statements and had driven to the hospital, they now sat waiting in the waiting room for an update on Kensi's condition. They had been joined by Nell, Eric, and Hetty. They had sat in silence for so long that when Hetty spoke it startled them, "I think I am going to let another agency take the case. Several have called and offered their assistance and I am going to take them up on it. It will allow us to focus our attention on Kensi and other things."

Callen normally would have argued but he sat in silence. Deeks was the one who spoke, "I want to keep working the case. Ricky was not one of the guys that we got and as long as he is out there, she is in danger…I want him Hetty."

"Ricky seems to know Kensi's weaknesses and he plays them to his advantage. He knows we all are the people that matter the most to her and because of that it puts us all in danger. It is best that we stick together and let another agency take over. Ricky will do whatever he can to get Kensi to go to him again. He already pretended to kidnap Nell, and this time he may really kidnap one of us. Not to mention not only will Ricky want to kill her because of her brother but he lost a lot of his top men tonight, and we all played a role in that." Hetty hoped this reasoning would sit well with the team. She didn't want to explain the real reason she no longer wanted them on the case was because she was nervous that if they did find him they would be more worried about revenge than justice. Her mind went to when Deeks had been kidnapped and then beat the guy…Callen, Sam, and Kensi had pretended like they had not seen it. She did not want to take the risk of destroying her team because of one slip of the trigger. The team was too valuable to end like that. It was one thing when someone on the team had been kidnapped, she wouldn't trust anyone but her team to do the search and rescue. But everyone was there at the hospital and at that point in time Hetty preferred her team to protect one another and leave Ricky to someone else.

Callen's heart hammered, Hetty was right to a certain extent. Ricky would kidnap one of them to get to Kensi. The team needed to refocus their attention to keeping one another safe, and they needed to make sure they were supporting Kensi too. But that could only happen if Kensi ended up being okay and started recovering. Her eyes filled his mind again and it made his stomach hurt. She had been done. Asking for a minute before they rolled her over, begging to not be taken to the hospital, and the look in her eyes…she had wanted to die and had said so without actually saying so.

Deeks had accepted Hetty's answer without arguing. He would do anything that needed to be done to keep the people he cared about safe.

A doctor came into the room, "Kensi Blye?"

"That is us," Hetty replied.

"Family?" He asked walking over.

"Co-workers," Sam responded.

"I'm sorry. I will have to talk to family…confidentiality. Can you get a hold of someone in her family?" the doctor asked and he did sound sincerely apologetic.

Deeks stepped forward, "Hi, I'm detective Marty Deeks and LAPD is investigating an attempted murder. Any information you can give us on the victim will aide in our investigation."

The doctor nodded after looking at the badge Deeks had handed him, "Wanna follow me?" he asked after some apprehension.

Deeks nodded to the team signaling he would fill them in as soon as he had all the information and followed the doctor into the hallway. Deeks hands had grown sweaty and his heart was pounding.

"Kensi has a concussion, three broken ribs, she had substantial bruising all over her body, she needed stitches. The bullet caused some internal bleeding but we have corrected that and she is being closed up as we speak. As far as I know they have done a rape kit, I will make sure to get the results to you."

Deeks grew pale and he swayed slightly, "Was she…ummm…was she raped?"

"Well, there was some bruising and some tearing, so I would say so..." the doctor looked questioningly at the detective.

"And when will I be able to question her?" Deeks asked trying his best to hold it together.

"When she wakes up." The doctor answered before walking away.

Deeks turned and went back to his team, he couldn't breathe, he needed air, and he needed to get outside. He hurried through the waiting room, "How is she?" Callen asked immediately noting Deeks' facial expression.

Deeks stopped trying to recall what the doctor had said moments ago….but all that was on his mind was the rape, "Ummmm…ummm…broken ribs, concussion, coming out of surgery now…Excuse me I'll be back." He ran to the elevator oblivious to the stares he was attracting as he went, he hit the down button more times than necessary. He wondered if he should have told them. After several seconds second guessing himself he knew he wouldn't tell them and that he had made the right decision. It was her story to tell when she was ready. As he reached outside he leaned against the wall and slid down to the ground, knowing it was only a matter of time before Hetty and the others read the police report and found out the truth…In a matter of time it wouldn't be an option of allowing Kensi to talk when she was ready, it would be telling her that they all knew. Feeling himself become nauseated he put his head between his knees.


	8. One Step at a Time

**So the new Chapter is finally done. I'm sorry it took so long. Thanks once again for reading and the reviews and alerts. I appreciate all of them!**

**Kenzie.**

**P.S. Nine.4444 your wish is my command . :)  
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Callen had seen Deeks face and immediately he knew something was wrong. As Deeks got into the elevator and the doors closed Callen watched the numbers light up until it stopped at the first floor. He quickly opened the door to the stairs and took them two at a time until he reached the same floor the elevator had stopped on. Just as he walked out into the lobby he saw Deeks exiting out the door. Callen quickly followed and when he got outside he saw Deeks sitting against the wall his head between his knees. Callen stood waiting patiently for Deeks to collect himself. He did not want to intrude on Deeks personal space but he wanted to know why Deeks had been pale after talking to the doctor. Callen knew he was hiding something and he was confident that he would get the truth. After several minutes Callen saw Deek's shoulders go up and down, Deeks had clearly taken a deep breath in. After another five deep breaths Deeks slowly stood up.

Deeks eyed Callen suspiciously, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough…wanna tell me what is on your mind?" Callen asked.

"Not particularly." Deeks replied.

"I think it'd make you feel better."

Deeks stood looking anywhere but at Callen. Deeks knew that talking about it would not make the situation any better. He also knew that he would not break Kensi's trust and tell anyone what had happened to her. In the future, if she wanted to tell them then he would support her decision. Until then, he was going to try to keep it as hush hush as he could.

"Deeks, we've all been here. I'm here to talk to; I know how you are feeling." Callen had tried again when Deeks had stood looking blankly at the wall.

Deeks heard Callen and wanted to scream at him, tell him he had no idea what he was going through, but he bit his tongue, "I'm fine really. Just it's been an overwhelming day hasn't it? I mean it seems so surreal…" Callen had no idea just how surreal it was, "Well, I better get back upstairs. She could wake up any moment." He briskly walked past Callen and approached the elevator once again.

As Deeks and Callen joined the rest of the team, Callen gave Sam a slight nod letting him know everything was okay. Deeks sat next to Hetty and whispered in her ear, "Can we talk? Somewhere a little more private, please?" Hetty did not miss the pleading that came from her detectives' voice and she nodded her head and motioned for him to follow her.

"What is it Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked once they had went into a conference room.

"I know that…" Deeks stopped; he didn't know how to tell her.

"Mr. Deeks, I know you want to work the case, but it is in the best interest of all of us that we…"

Deeks realized Hetty assumed that he was going to ask to work the case, "No, Hetty that…that's not it." Deeks interrupted her. Hetty looked slightly confused and stood waiting for him to go on. "We both know that just because we are not out in the field working the case doesn't mean that we won't look at the file and try to give the people who are working on the case advice on where to go and who to question. Is there absolutely anyway you can keep the police file away from everyone on the team?...I mean you don't have to keep the whole file away but if you could just keep the medical information on Kensi out of the file when Callen and Sam look at it?" He knew he wasn't making much sense to Hetty, but he didn't know how much more he could say.

Hetty stood looking at the man before her. He seemed nervous and scared, something she was not used to seeing on Deeks, "Is there something I should know Deeks?" Hetty questioned.

"Not something I am at liberty to say…" Deeks voice trailed off.

Hetty sighed as she put the pieces together, "Deeks…I don't know what to say…"

Deeks was astounded, how had she figured it out?

"Whose is it?" Hetty asked.

Deeks looked questioningly at her, "Huh?"

"The baby Deeks." Hetty answered impatiently.

"No, it's not a baby Hetty," Deeks answered. And his face grew pale again, what if she ended up pregnant. Surely the hospital would give her something to prevent that…

Hetty stayed silent and watched Deeks reaction upon mention of a baby, "She was raped wasn't she Deeks?" Hetty asked placing a hand on his arm.

Deeks breathing had become quicker, "Hetty, I don't want them to know, I want to give Kensi the time she needs to cope. And when she is ready she will tell them. She lost every bit of control she had in there and I want to give her that control back. I want her to know that she doesn't need to tell them until she wants them to know. That she has the ability to choose when, where, and how they find out…It's her story to tell Hetty, not ours." Deeks ended his speech looking at the ground.

A knock sounded on the door and Sam peered in, "Kensi is awake. The nurse is asking for you."

Deeks nodded and went to head out of the door when Hetty's voice stopped him, "I'll see what I can do Deeks.

Kensi heard the soft beeping coming from the background and slowly opened her eyes. She was not in any physical pain but the mental pain was almost unbearable. She wished the medicine that she had been given would help with that too. A nurse approached her with a sympathetic look on her face and Kensi's heart skipped a beat, she knew. She wouldn't be looking at her this way if she didn't.

"How are you feeling dear?" the nurse asked.

Kensi didn't talk, but nodded her head.

"A detective is here to talk to you, I'm going to let him in is that okay?"

Kensi nodded again. She would talk to the detective tell him what she had to and then she would tell the nurse she was in too much pain to have any more visitors. That would give her a little bit of time before she had to face her friends. She felt slightly guilty that she would result in making them wait in the waiting room in order to keep what little pride she did have intact. She tightly closed her eyes and tried to get the graphic images out of her mind. While she had not been awake when it had happened, images of what they did kept filling her mind.

"This is the detective that is going to ask you some questions. If you need anything…anything at all, just yell."

Kensi kept her eyes closed for a couple more minutes to prepare herself for what she knew was coming. She had been in law enforcement for a long time and she was completely aware of the questions they were surely going to ask. After a few deep breaths she opened her eyes indicating that she was ready to talk. Upon seeing Deeks Kensi inhaled…inhaled too deeply. Her broken ribs protested as well as her stomach where she was sure she had stitches and she gasped in pain.

"Kensi, it's okay…it's okay….just breath through it." Deeks told her as he approached her bed. He had stayed silent waiting for her to let him know she was ready and now he regretted it. Maybe he should have told her right away so she would not have responded in this way. He laid his hand on her arm and she gasped again pulling away. Deeks backed up not wanting to inflict any more pain on her.

Kensi couldn't believe it, Deeks really? She couldn't talk to Deeks, if he were to know what had happened to her he would never ever want to associate with her again. He went to lay a hand on her and she pulled away. She was dirty…so dirty…and she didn't deserve to be comforted after what she had let happen it was her fault…all her fault.

Her breathing had become hurried and Deeks tried to talk her through it, "Kensi, you're going to hyperventilate. Shut your eyes and breathe. In…out…in…out."

Kensi shut her eyes, but not at Deeks instruction. She wanted to shut her eyes and disappear. She didn't want to be here, she just wanted to rewind time and make herself stay awake, make herself fight harder. She opened her eyes and saw Deeks cowering over her with concern on his face. She needed to take a shower..she needed to get them off of her. She needed to be clean again. She went to sit up and Deeks placed a hand on her shoulder, "Not yet, Kens."

She just wanted to take a shower. She needed to take a shower, she was smelling their scent on her. She didn't want him to smell their scent too, then he would know.

"Kensi, none of this is your fault okay? Kensi look at me." Deeks grabbed underneath of her chin and pulled her face up, "None of this is your fault. You are still Kensi, nothing has changed. You are still my partner and I am here for you. You're not going to blame yourself. Your still Kensi and none of this is your fault. Repeat that for me, okay?"

Kensi looked at him and felt nauseous upon realizing that he knew. She didn't know if it was because of the anesthesia, the pain medicine, or the fact that Deeks knew but she felt completely sick. She put her hand over her mouth and tried to take a few breaths, the last thing she wanted was to be sick in front of her partner.

Deeks noticed what was going on and he handed Kensi a basin. She shook her head, "It's going to be okay." He promised. As Kensi began to gag he held her hair back and rubbed her back. She shut her eyes and waited until the pain that was radiating throughout her body lessened before she opened them again.

"Do they all know?" she asked, wiping her mouth with the tissue Deeks had handed her.

"No. Just me and Hetty. And I promise you they will not find out until you tell them. And if that is never…then they will never know."

Kensi looked at him her eyes filled with a mixture of fear, pain, sadness, and gratitude. Deeks was not looking at her the way the nurse had, he was looking at her as he always had and he was keeping her grounded like he had always been able to do.

Deeks sat next to her bed silently waiting for Kensi to collect her thoughts. Her breathing was getting better, "Kensi, I'm still waiting for you to repeat after me. I'm still Kensi and this isn't my fault."

Kensi looked down at her hands, "I'm still Kensi and this isn't my fault."

Deeks noticed the way that Kensi had looked down at her hands when repeating after him but wasn't going to comment on it. He would take it one step at a time.


	9. Restrictions

**Thanks to starie78 for informing me of this chapter not uploading...I hope it works this time around. S****o I know it has been a long time. And for that I am sorry but life just keeps getting in the way. With only four weeks left until graduation I am having to write papers, take exams, study, and work…it never seems to end. I am hoping to finish this up in a few chapters that way you guys don't have to keep waiting for the next chapter. Then I promise I won't start another one until I know I will have some time. It amazes me how quickly time flies by when I am writing this and how time drags when I am writing a paper on euthanasia or fear appeals. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. And as always thank-you for reading, reviewing, and adding this story to your alerts. Kenzie.**

Kensi had been in the hospital for a couple of days, and had had a steady stream of visitors, Deeks being the main one. Mentally she was numb to everything that had happened in the house. She had seen a psychiatrist while at the hospital and he had put her on some medication that would help her relax. While the nurses had been quick to make sure she was taking them Kensi knew as soon as she was out of the hospital taking the medicine would stop. She didn't want to feel numb; she wanted to feel whatever emotion she needed to feel. Deeks had kept his promise and no one but Deeks and Hetty seemed to know the exact details of what had happened. Hetty had come up to see her the day after and told Kensi that she had dispatched Nate to come back for a while to help her along the path of recovery. When Kensi had refused Hetty told her that it was for her own good and that it would be better to confide in someone who she knew and trusted. Kensi had tried to talk Hetty into letting her confide in her or Deeks since they both already knew the story, but Hetty had insisted on handing it over to the professionals. Much to Kensi's excitement the doctor had decided that she could go home if she adhered to a long list of restrictions. She gladly told him she would and now she stood in the bathroom slowly putting clothes on. She was still in some pain but she knew she could handle it without the pain medicine the doctor had prescribed. As she left the bathroom she was surprised to run into Deeks, "What are you doing here?" Kensi asked. She had not told them that she was being released.

Deeks smiled slightly, he had known she would not inform him of her discharge until she was safely tucked away into a hiding spot where they would not find her, "I asked the doctor to call me before he discharged you. Told him that I would want to have a cop stationed at your house until we got the guy behind bars, I told him that it was protocol and that I would need to know of your discharge before you left the hospital so we could clear your house before you went in."

Kensi shook her head, "I wasn't planning on going home Deeks."

"I know that…"

"How?"

"I may have been eavesdropping on you last night and heard you asking a hotel if they had any rooms available."

Kensi shook her head, "That is rude you know?"

"Yeah…maybe. Let's go, your chariot awaits young lady," Deeks motioned as a nurse walked in with a wheelchair.

Kensi's face fell, "You cannot be serious? I am perfectly capable of walking." Kensi knew she had exaggerated; she was still very slow to move because of her injuries.

"Sorry mam, it is the rules." The nurse relied.

Deeks chuckled, "Or you could just stay here a couple of days, I hear the food is fantastic." He reached out and grabbed her elbow leading her to the wheelchair.

"You're not supposed to leave the car unattended in the circle drive you do know that right?" Kensi asked.

"It's not unattended, Callen and Sam are awaiting to chauffer you around." Deeks had succeeded in keeping her mind away from the horror that never strayed far from her mind the last few days by focusing her attention on other things and he hoped that he could keep it up until she was mentally and physically ready to face it head on. She couldn't punch a punching bag, she couldn't shoot her gun, and she couldn't play basketball to aide her in her coping so she would be forced to sit and dwell on it unless her attention remained focused on something else at all times.

Kensi's heart raced faster upon realizing that she would be in the same car as Callen and Sam. Two of the people she was intent on keeping secrets from, they had known her so long they would be able to see right through her lies and they would ask questions. Deeks noticed Kensi's body tense and once on the elevator he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "No worries Hetty said no one was to speak to you about what transpired except for Nate." Kensi relaxed significantly. Deeks had found that when he did mention what had happened it was better to do so without actually mentioning it.

Once they got to the drive Kensi seen Sam hop out of the car and open the door for her. Deeks grabbed her arm and gingerly helped her into the car before bidding farewell to the nurse.

"You feeling okay Kens?" Callen asked from the driver seat.

"I'm good." She saw Sam throw a sideways glance at Callen before he put the car in drive.

Sam was the next to speak, "So I should warn you Hetty had the doctor email her a list of your restrictions which she then forwarded to us. We are under strict orders to restrain you to your bed and call her if we catch you breaking any of them."

Kensi looked at Deeks and found him nodding confirming what Sam had said, "Well but how would you know if I broke them? It's not like you guys are going to be staying at the hotel with me…I only got a one bedroom hotel room. It won't fit all of you." Kensi replied.

Callen laughed, "You're not going to the hotel you are going to a safe house. By the way you might want to take note that while we are all aware of how destructive and lethal you can be I am much more scared of Hetty. Not to mention the fact that you are kind of handicapped at the moment and she is not."

Kensi sighed, she had not studied the list of restrictions very closely at the hospital, "Do you have that list handy?"

Deeks smiled, "Right here princess."

Kensi flinched at the name even that small name took her back to the house and laying on the floor her head pounding where she had been moments before she got shot.

"Kensi?" Deeks laid his hand on her leg bringing her out of her thoughts again, he had seen the look on her face and knew she had flash backed to the house.

Kensi tried her best to smile to show her appreciation for Deeks not letting her stay lost in her thoughts any longer. She seen Callen looking at her through the rear view mirror and seen Sam turning his head slightly. She threw them a reassuring smile before scanning Deeks phone which held the list of things she could not do or had to do. While most of them seemed to be common sense: not lifting anything heavy, not taking part in any kind of physical activity, and resting. Others seemed to surprise her: take medication as prescribed, don't leave the house unattended, and telling someone before getting out of bed or off the couch seemed unlikely to have been placed on the list by the doctor, "Hetty tampered with my restrictions." Kensi complained.

"Nonetheless you are expected to follow each one." Deeks replied.

"But some of these are treating me like I am two years old." Kensi said reading the restriction that said she was to follow all orders given by Deeks, Callen, and Sam.

"It's only gonna be for a couple of days." Sam reassured her.

"Maybe we can negotiate some of these?" Kensi tried.

Callen's phone went off seconds later and he laughed, "Hetty has texted me and asked me to tell you that all terms and conditions are nonnegotiable. She would also like me to add that she is pleased that you have been released from the hospital and that she will stop by to see you later."

Kensi groaned in defeat and lay back against the seat. While she had intentionally been trying in the beginning to act as naturally as possible she was surprised to see that the amount of effort required decreased as the time went on. Being in the presence of her teammates had given her a sense of normalcy and almost allowed her to forget…

The safe house was not one she had been to before. It was a small house that was placed in an open field and it had a long driveway. It would enable them to see if anyone was coming by only looking out of the window. Callen and Deeks went inside the house to double check no one had gotten in and Sam helped Kensi out of the car, "Are you sure you're doing okay?" he asked.

"Hmmmm mmmm.." Kensi replied. Truth was the medicine the nurse had given her was wearing off and the pain was back. The bumps the car had hit on the way there had not seemed to help either.

Deeks made his way back outside and gave the all clear, within minutes Kensi found herself laying on a bed tucked in, "So all four of us are going to be staying here?" Kensi asked Deeks as he got her a glass of water.

"Nahhh…well okay yeah."

"Shouldn't someone be out looking for Ricky?" Kensi asked.

"Hetty thought it better to hand the case over…." Deeks explained.

"Why?" Kensi asked angrily.

"You'll have to ask Hetty that, I'm sure she will be more than happy to tell you."

"You mean to tell me that we have some amateur detectives out looking for him instead of us? After what he did to me, you'd think…" Kensi had raised her voice.

"Let me go get those restrictions I'm sure somewhere on their it says avoid raising blood pressure…and if it doesn't if I remember correctly I have the authority to tell you that you can't do it." Deeks replied leaving the room to go and get his phone to look at the list.

Kensi lied there and pretended to be asleep until they had left her alone. The more she thought about it the more happy she had been that Hetty had given the case up, Kensi couldn't handle one of her teammates getting injured because of her at least now she would know they were all safe. As she dozed off she heard a vibration coming from the stand and noticed that they had left her phone in there for her she picked it up, "Hello?"

"Your days are numbered Miss Blye."

Kensi's heart hammered as she realized who it was, "Ricky what do you want?"

"You know what I want. I want you. And I will take out every person on your team to get to you, you do know that right?" Ricky responded.

Callen came into the room upon hearing a voice, "Kensi, what is wrong?" he asked noticing how pale she had become.

The line went dead and Kensi looked at Callen not knowing if she should tell the truth or make up a lie.

**-Review, please? **


	10. Lone Wolf

**So my delay is totally unacceptable and I am so sorry**. **Between graduating (yes I am officially a college graduate), my open house, working, planning a trip to Florida, and volunteering I have not been able to sit and write. :/. But now I am back and ready to go. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please don't forget to review. If I get a few I may even post another chapter tomorrow ;). Thanks so much for reading and once again I am sorry about the delay, Kenzie.**

Kensi sat staring at Callen, she knew him of all people would understand what she was going through. In fact, she knew that had Callen been in her shoes he would do the whole lone wolf thing too. But she also knew that being the protective brother that he was he would not allow her to do it and this is what resulted in Kensi's response, "Nothing, I just moved to quickly and it hurt."

Callen stood and for a moment Kensi thought that he was going to believe her and let it go but then he brought out his own phone, "Eric, when you get a second can you please tell me who was the last person to call Kensi's phone?"

Kensi knew that it would be a matter of time before he would know the truth, "It was Ricky." She mumbled.

Callen sighed and laid his phone on the desk before sitting by her, "Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Why would you hang up on Eric?" Kensi asked trying to give herself a couple of minutes.

"I wasn't on the phone with Eric," Callen winked at her.

"You're playing unfair G."

Callen nodded, "I'm gonna play however I have to play. Now what did he say?"

Kensi was heated that Callen had pulled one over on her and was tempted to not tell him, but then he spoke again, "I have all night Kens."

She wasn't one hundred percent for sure but she thought she had heard him say that to someone else before, and the look in his eyes told her that he was not lying, "He said he wanted me and that my days were numbered. He said that he would take all of you guys out to get to me. Callen just let me go and handle it, the faster I can finish it the faster we can be normal again. The more lives I will save. You have to let me go. Just occupy Sam and Deeks long enough for me to get out of the house. Leave the keys in the ignition…" Kensi's voice trailed off as Callen shook his head.

"The answer is no. Ricky lost the majority of his guys last night. He is alone and vulnerable, we will get him and it will not require any effort from you. Not to mention doing what you just said to do would break every single one of your restrictions and Hetty would kill me. No it is definitely not worth it. Also, your injured and you're not at 100% and I will not gamble with your life. Sorry, Kensi."

His voice insinuated that it was final and Kensi knew it was best not to argue, "I understand." She would just have to figure out another way.

Callen stood looking at her confused, like he had expected her to put up a fight, "That's it?" Callen asked cautiously.

"Of course it is. You've made your decision and I respect that." She watched as Callen turned and left the room, she was sure to go tell the others. She would have to make an exit sometime within the next day or two, Ricky would not wait forever. But she knew it was best to stay put for now knowing the guys would be extra vigilant once Callen told them of her plan. So she rolled over to her side and closed her eyes to take a nap.

She was paralyzed and she seen the man as he ran his hand from her jaw downwards until he was cupping her breasts. She begged him to stop, yelled at him to get his hands off of her. She pleaded with him to stop. She begged her feet to kick him but they wouldn't budge. She pleaded with her hands to slap him but they lay relaxed at her side. She screamed hoping someone would help and the man lifted his hand from her breast and slapped her across the face, she screamed out in pain.

"Kensi! Wake up! You're okay! I'm right here Kensi." Deeks shook Kensi's shoulders to wake her up.

She opened her eyes and was startled to feel the tears streaming down her face and Deeks leaning over her as Callen and Sam stood at the bottom of the bed looking on.

"You're okay Kensi, nothing is going to happen to you. I promise." Deeks was running his hand gingerly over her cheeks wiping the tears away.

Her heart hammered as she thought back to the nightmare and what she may have yelled out loud to get their attention, "I'm sorry." Kensi said quietly taking a hand and resting it over her eyes.

"Nothing to be sorry about Kens." Deeks replied. He had heard her screams and he was nauseous knowing that no longer was telling Callen and Sam up to her….they would know the truth when they had heard her screams. There was no way to cover the truth up now.

Kensi felt Sam come and sit on the opposite side of Deeks, "Kensi, you know that you can confide in us right?"

Kensi's breathing became irregular as she realized that she must have yelled enough to make them come to the realization that she had been sexually assaulted.

Sam rested his hand on her shoulder, "We're a family Kensi and we want to do what we can do to help but if you're not telling us the whole story how are we supposed to do that?"

"I didn't want you guys to think differently of me."

Sam sighed, "Kensi, we will never see you as anything less than a determined, independent, strong, beautiful, and ambitious woman."

Kensi's breathing slowed as Sam's words replayed over and over again in her head, she felt stupid for thinking that they might possibly turn their backs on her. And was surprised at how relieved she was that she did not need to hide anymore secrets.

Callen stood rooted to the floor watching the exchange between his team before slowly turning and walking to the porch dialing Hetty's phone, "I want the case. I want to be the one to find him. I want to give this…," Callen stopped taking a deep breath. He needed to keep his temper under control, "I want to be the one to give this guy what he deserves and I am planning on doing it with or without your permission…"

Hetty could be heard sighing on the other end of the phone before she spoke, "Very well Mr. Callen, if you need any assistance you know how to reach me…..and be careful."


	11. Tick Tock

**So I am trying to make up for my delay so I am posting another chapter! Before you read this I would like to tell you that this is not how I had envisioned this happening but once I started typing it just kind of came out this way. I was broken hearted but I felt like it needed to be done. :/. Thanks so much for reading, Kenzie. **

Callen came back into the room where Sam and Deeks were still comforting Kensi. He approached her bed and placed his hand on Kensi's shoulder, "It's gonna be okay Kensi." Without waiting for a response he left the room and headed towards the front door pulling his phone out his pocket, "Eric, I want you to trace the phone that last contacted Kensi and give me a location. And this stays between us." Callen knew that Ricky would make it easy to trace the phone; he would want Kensi to be able to find him.

Eric responded moments later that he was forwarding the coordinates to Callens phone and Callen thanked him before hanging up. He thought about calling for back up, he knew that Hetty probably knew where Ricky was because she would have traced it too. Callen knew he only had a matter of time before the LAPD would come up with a plan and storm the building. Callen wanted to be there first, he wanted to be able to seek revenge for his friend. Callen wanted to see Ricky suffer. His adrenaline was going before he had even reached the street, he considered once more calling for back up but he decided against it. If he called them he would be forced to follow the rules, he wouldn't be able to shoot him in the leg and claim self defense, and he wouldn't be able to break his nose or inflict any type of pain on him. Callen swung his legs out of the car and he took his gun out of his holster. He scanned the outside of the house for any signs of movement. He knew that the majority of Ricky's men had been killed the night they had rescued Kensi, but Callen was positive he had had ample opportunity to recruit more people. He was so anxious and so angry to get to Ricky and make him pay that he did not walk the perimeter of the house which was normal protocol but he walked directly up to the front door kicking it in with his foot. When he walked into the house he was surprised to see Ricky sitting on the couch, "Must be pretty confident not to be hiding, huh?" Callen asked raising his gun.

"Confident my dear boy? No, I just have nothing to lose." Ricky smiled.

"And your life?" Callen asked.

"I have two months to live. Terminal cancer."

"Funny, I didn't see that in your file." Callen replied wondering why he had not crossed the room to beat him yet. The man was completely unarmed.

"Surely you know that I couldn't go to the hospital and give my real name? So I was positive Kensi would be the one who would respond to my call, where is she anyway?" Ricky asked looking at the door as if she was going to enter at any time.

"To be frank it is none of your business." Callen finally walked forward when he felt no one was going to come into the room to come to the aide of Ricky and he flung his fist into the side of his head, "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" Callen asked angrily still hitting the man with his fists. "Leave Kensi alone and hit me. Threaten me you coward!"

Callen stood straight up allowing the man to slide onto the couch, "G Callen you are not my target. Kensi killed my brother and I am determined to make her pay."

Callen raised his gun and pointed it at Ricky's head, "Make her pay? For what? Helping take down your brother who was a worthless criminal, he deserved to die and so do you."

Ricky laughed, "Do it then, pull the trigger…watch me take my last breath. I'm sure it would be very satisfying for you."

Callen glared at the man who lay weak and vulnerable under him. One pull of the trigger would finish it and then his team would be safe again, one second is all it would take for Callen to end it. He was surprised at how good it felt to be in such a powerful position, being able to choose life or death for the person who had put his team through hell. Death would be too easy for Ricky…but then again if he did only have two months to live what was the point in keeping him alive. Doctors would give him morphine to help ease the pain that the cancer was causing and he would never spend a day in jail, while Kensi would have to endure her pain for the rest of her life. While thinking about all of this Ricky continued to smirk at Callen, Callen connected his fist to the man's stomach, "Why did you make it so easy for us to find you?" Callen asked.

"Well, I don't have forever now do I?" Ricky chuckled.

"You're not going to kill her, you do know that right?" Callen asked.

"The ending may not be what I expected but nonetheless it will work out and she will pay for what she did all of those years ago. Maybe it's true what they say….death is too easy." Ricky smiled.

"What do you mean by that?" Callen asked angrily grabbing Ricky by his neck and shaking him.

"I think I have had enough of this conversation…good night G Callen." And with that Ricky opened his hand showing Callen a small remote in his hand. Callen went to knock it away but Ricky had pushed the button and the house exploded…

Callen fell back onto his back and coughed as smoke filled his lungs, his gun sliding out of his hand. He was surrounded by flames. He realized with horror that when he had been thrown back by the explosion Ricky had retrieved his own gun. He stood above Callen and pointed it at him. Callen tried to retrieve his gun, as he felt his hand clasp the cold metal he felt a sharp pain as the bullet from Ricky's gun connected with his body. He fired off one shot which hit Ricky in the head before laying his head back and groaning in pain. He reached down to his stomach and felt the blood streaming out of him; he knew that it was only a matter of time before he would bleed out. He refocused his attention to his family back at NCIS. Remembering the good times, the late nights out…he ignored the dizziness that was taking over, he ignored the pain in his stomach, ignored the heat that was engulfing him because of the flames. He thought about the first case with Deeks and how he had saved Sam, he thought of Kensi and him playing a drunken couple, he thought of Sam always being there. He thought of Nell and the time her dating page accidently came up on the big screen, and thought about Eric playing games on the big screen. Thought of Hetty and how she always knew everything…and how she had went to Romania to save him. They were the people he loved, the only reason he had to live for, the only reason he had to die for. Tears filled his eyes as he scanned the room looking for anyway to escape… he seen none. He focused his attention on the clock that had been knocked off the wall when the explosion had hit and now lay by his head. He listened to the tick tock of the clock counting each second that went by…he silently thanked his team for always being there and having his back. He silently prayed that after he was gone, they would still be a strong unit and a force not to be reckoned with. And reassured himself that he had left his team safe and that his death would not be in vein… He took one last look at Ricky's lifeless body lying on the floor to reassure himself and then shut his eyes picturing each team member in his mind…and just like that time stopped for the agent.


	12. Everything is not what it seems

**So this is it. The final chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed it and thank-you all so much for taking part in this story. If it wasn't for you I would not have finished it. I hope I have not let you guys down. Thank-you all again, Kenzie.**

Sam stood at the end of the driveway. Flashing lights illuminated the street. As soon as he noticed that Callen had went missing he had called and tracked Callen's phone. He had called for backup hoping that they would get there before him. Firefighters had their hoses out and they had stopped the blaze enough that three firefighters were going in to look for survivors. Sam fought against the feeling that he needed to go in and help…it was aggravating that he could not be doing anything to help out his partner. He kept trying to subdue his thoughts that no one would have been able to survive. After what felt like an eternity firefighters came out carrying two limp forms. Sam's heart pounded and he jogged toward as they laid the two figures on gurneys. Seeing Callen he stopped and rushed forward, "Is he okay?"

"He's still breathing, he has some burns on his body and he is going to need to seek treatment for smoke inhalation. It's serious, he has a gunshot wound to the stomach, and we're going to have to take him to the hospital now…the other one is dead." The firefighter responded helping push Callen to the waiting ambulance.

Sam picked up his phone and dialed Deeks, "Callen is still alive he's being taken to the hospital. Ricky is dead, stay with Kensi and I will call and update you as soon as I can."

Callen's head was pounding and he distinctly heard a steady beep beep in the background. He tried to recall what had happened but all he could remember was counting the seconds that had gone by as he laid in the burning building. He knew he wasn't dead; there was too much pain for that. He heard a cough by him and turned his head toward the sound.

"You gave us a scare you know? And I am sure I don't need to add how idiotic that was?" Sam asked.

Callen went to talk but found he couldn't find his voice.

"I'll go get the nurse." Sam had spent the last two days by his partner's bed waiting for him to wake up. He had been in this place before the last time Callen had been shot but this time had been different. This time Callen had been closer to death than ever before. His heart had stopped twice on the operating table, and Sam could still hear Kensi's sobs as she and Deeks showed up in the hospital wanting information about their team member. Deeks had sat solemnly holding Kensi and Sam had stood anxiously by the doorway. Hetty had showed up and looked as though she felt like she had let them down. The next two days had dragged on and on with a steady stream of visitors. His condition had been uncertain for awhile and the doctors had had to run tests on his brain in order to see if there was brain activity. When they did find brain waves Sam was able to relax for the first time since the morning they had found out Kensi's life was being threatened.

Callen spoke his voice raspy, "No, not yet. Kensi? Is she okay?"

"Fine."

"And Ricky?" Callen asked.

"Dead."

"How did I get out?" Callen asked, he thought for sure those last few minutes were going to be the end.

"I had Eric track you and I called for backup. The police and ambulance had arrived right as the bomb went off. The firefighters got there within minutes and they quickly extinguished as much of the fire as they could before they rushed in to get you. You have some bad burns on your legs and your right arm. The bullet grazed your intestine but they fixed that up. You had smoke inhalation so they will probably make you do some breathing exercises. But you're going to be okay…unless you pull a stunt like that again. If you do I will make sure that I am the one to take you out. Now I will be back the nurse needs to inform the doctor that you have awoken."

Callen watched the retreating back of his partner and smiled knowing that Hetty had formed the perfect team. They all had their own strengths and they all complemented one another so well. He couldn't believe that he was still alive. The last few days time had stopped for him as he lay unconscious and unknowing to what was occurring in the world. Now time had started again and he felt that the nightmare had finally ended, the sun was finally rising, and his team was safe and sound. He knew in their line of work it was only a matter of time before they would find themselves in danger again. But for now he was going to celebrate the fact that they had finished another case and had taken another criminal off the streets and that they were all alive.

Deeks had allowed Kensi to venture out of the house to watch him surf. The waves crashed against him as he made his way up to her, "You okay?"

"I'm fine."

Deeks laughed, "You already know that line don't work with me. Kensi, Callen is going to be okay. Ricky is dead, it's over."

Kensi looked at him and Deeks noticed she hesitated before she spoke, "Everything is not always what it seems Deeks."

Deeks took his hand and pushed her chin up so she was looking at him, "What do you mean?"

"Mark wasn't Mark. Nell wasn't kidnapped. Callen wasn't dead…what if it's not over?" Kensi asked.

"Kens, Ricky was pulled out of the fire and pronounced dead at the scene."

"Yeah, I guess. I just don't feel like he would have given up like that without a plan."

"Everything may not always be what it seems Kens, but this time it is. It's over. You're safe and so are all of us."

"All of us except Carson and Mitch…their dead because of me."

"Have you talked about this with Nate?"

"Yeah, he said something about survivor's guilt…"

"Nate sounds like a smart man. And I'm sure I don't have to mention how many lives you have saved being an NCIS agent…"

Kensi smiled before standing up and walking towards the ocean, "I'll be back."

Deeks nodded realizing she needed time to herself.

Kensi stopped as she was knee deep in the ocean. She held the ring she had worn when she was playing fiancé on the drug case that had started it all…she leaned over and let her hand glide through the water releasing the ring, "Thank-you for everything Carson. I'm sorry I couldn't save you and Mitch." Her voice had grown shaky and she stood upright again watching the seagulls fly overhead and watching the sunset turn the sky a bright pink color, "Good-bye." She stood there allowing the emotions that she had tried so hard to ignore overtake her and tears fell freely down her face.

Several minutes had passed and then she felt a hand on her back, "Let's go Kensi." She wiped her eyes and nodded letting Deeks lead her away from the ocean….and away from the nightmare that had become her life the moment she had met Mitch at the restaurant.

**Thank-you all!**


End file.
